Saturday, October 9, 2010

Completely Inappropriate;

For the first time in my life, I feel completely comfortable with who I am. The way I'm living my life, and the people I'm surrounding myself with.  The decisions i have been making are ones i feel proud of, for once i don't feel like i need to prove myself to anyone, like they are going to take it or leave it and if they leave it then it just doesn't effect me anymore, i don't have the energy. Like me and my old friend who continuously seem to be hurting each other to the point of no repair; i am sick of the games, we know who we are, we love each other, but we're no good for each other. What else can i do but just let it be what it is. She's going to keep loving who she loves, and so will i and that's going to be the largest divider in our friendship creating a larger and larger void. Maybe it won't happen that way. I suppose only time will tell again. Until then it's just not something i'm going to be concerned about. It frustrates me to no extent that some of them still have the capacity to make me feel like i am in high school again, fighting for popularity, i never feel like that with Vince, Josh and Laura. They know exactly who i am, i don't need to prove anything. I used to think my other friends knew me too.. i was wrong. The only person from them who REALLY knows Sam, (or that i let see the real me) is Jay... and he's been in love with me for years now.

I just had the BIGGEST urge to delete my facebook account. 

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