Butterflies.

...i'm about to do something really bad.
something i keep doing in cycles.
something that is always AMAZING in the beginning but by the end brings me so much pain and hate that i honstly go insane..
i've already started.. i can feel it in my stomach,
why does it have to be the only thing that gives me butterflies?
i know how this goes, and i know where it ends.
and every time it does i tell myself that i'll never let my mind go there again..
and then one day, just out of no where.. it could have been weeks to days to months, but it always happens..
i feel my mind turn, and i feel my heart skip beats, and those oh so memorable butterflies creep their way down my throat and into my stomach.. and i know from that point on, im lost again.

i have an addiction...
and his name is Joe.



[I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame
This tearing apart...I think we all should die
I think we're dead inside
I know the purest rain
Won't wash the bloody stain
I know it waits to strike
This sickness from inside Will tear us apart
You're still in my heart Tearing apart
O you hold the rain
Far far away
Wild swans skim across a lake
Then soar in a white arc
Above my head I wakeTearing apart
You're still in my heart Tearing apart
O you hold the rain]