Thursday, June 24, 2010

WEDNESDAY MAY 13th 2009

To my dismay.. there is a dark Jason Dean in the running. we promised each other we won't fall in love. i swear i won't. He'll go down first, i knew that from the first time he stayed the night, i thought to myself "there's no chance i will cave first" because that's how the first kiss went. i swore i wouldn't make the first move, and i didn't have to. it was exciting, he's a vampire.

Mmm.. so this guy, he has a kid. his kid is 9 months old and his name is Blake. beautiful baby, and his father... we've been.. and well... he's been, wow. yeah. don't quite know how to describe the past week. i actually ended up getting really ill. like dangerously high fever, almost passing out. we were laying in my bed together at maybe 2am, the dimmer was on real low, so everything had a dark tan color to it i was almost asleep, and he put his hand on my stomach "i could get 2nd degree burns if i left my hand here.." so he took the sheets off me, peeled off my shirt, and unhooked my bra, taking it off nice and slow. he went and got a glass of water, "we need to cool you off..." he laid down beside me, sliding the glass across my tummy. i bit my lip shivering, and as i gripped the crimson sheets with my fingers, he dipped his into the glass and let beads of water drip onto my skin, i let out a sigh that was of both pain and relief. he just kept drawing on my tummy til it was cool again, giving me sweet soft kisses and blows. i felt safe. after i was calm again he started kissing lower and lower on my belly, touching my thighs gently, just little caress'. his tongue felt like silk on my skin, warm and smooth, perfect. He lifted his head and moved closer to me with the back of his hand sliding higher on my inner thigh, spreading my legs even further, his hands got to the top of my legs, he touched me again, this time going deeper. I remember looking right in his eyes when he moved his hips into mine. the inhaled breath. the fluttering eyes. amazing that it wasn't even the first time we'd had sex together. it was like this almost every time.
His name is Vince.

He has the perfect kiss. his lips are beautiful. it's funny cuz i know im not even infatuated really,
more just stuck in admiration. which i think is much better, less chance of getting hurt and you're not worried all the time. free to have fun and really be who you are. he told me something i thought was cute when i called him a dork one day, he said "You need to be accepting of the things you don't like or understand about me so you can appreciate the things you do like." Roughly. it just made me think, it was kind of a reality check.

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