this pattern..

i don't know what to do.. I'm torn between what i know is right and what i want.. I've never been the most honest type, I've always been the betrayer... the liar.. the one you think you can trust.. i mess up.. i hurt people. i make those i love most cry, better i should know. i live off a cycle and that is to crave something and once i get to it i do everything in my nature to destroy it. the life I've left behind me is a cold room. take me in, no questions asked.. you strip away the ugliness that surrounds me. i know I'll disappoint you. it's never good enough, and i find myself always seeking more... i don't understand at the thought of the touch of your hand i would be the one to fall.. you drive me crazy, though i have everything i should want, and that is right for me.. i want to give my passion to you. those who love me the way i love deceit.

i do what i have to

What ravages of spiritConjured this temptuous rageCreated you a monsterBroken by the rules of loveAnd fate has led you through itYou do what you have to doAnd fate has led you through itYou do what you have to do ...And I have the sense to recognize thatI don’t know how to let you goEvery moment markedWith apparitions of your soulI’m ever swiftly movingTrying to escape this desireThe yearning to be near youI do what I have to doThe yearning to be near youI do what I have to doBut I have the sense to recognizeThat I don’t know howTo let you goI don’t know howTo let you goA glowing emberBurning hotBurning slowDeep within I’m shaken by the violenceOf existing for only youI know I can’t be with youI do what I have to doI know I can’t be with youI do what I have to doAnd I have sense to recognize butI don’t know how to let you goI don’t know how to let you goI don’t know how to let you go

soul.

Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide

Voices trapped in yearning

Memories trapped in time

The night is my companion

And solitude my guide

Would I spend forever here

And not be satisfied?

And I would be the one

To hold you down

Kiss you so hard

I’ll take your breath away...

And after I’d wipe away the tears,

Just close your eyes dear.

Through this world I’ve stumbled

So many times betrayed

Trying to find an honest word

To find, the truth enslaved

Oh you speak to me in riddles and,

You speak to me in rhymes,

*My body aches to breathe your breath

You words keep me alive*

And I would be the one

To hold you down

Kiss you so hard

I’ll take your breath away

And after I’d wipe away the tears

Just close your eyes dear

Into this night I wander

It’s morning that I dread

Another day of knowing of

The path I fear to tread

Oh into the sea of waking dreams

I follow without pride

Nothing stands between us here

That I won’t be denied

And I would be the one

To hold you down

Kiss you so hard

I’ll take your breath away

And after I’d wipe away the tears

Just close your eyes dear